Hitto, tähän ei ollut tullut vieläkään vastausta:

Ahh, sorry anodyne oblivion, maybe I didnt sound too caring (you also say you dont know how to read people, so i suppose you just were not convinced about my idea, and i understand that very well).

Im very interested in this suffering phenomena, I have it too and I could relate to lot of things you told, not loving anyone, blaming myself about not loving, hating the loved one, and anger being the most real self-emotion etc. It is inspiring to read about your experiences somehow. Im actually writing a book about the subject, maybe you will hear about it someday and get the idea :D :D